The Shitennou go to Disneyland
by Holmium
Summary: Such a creative title, right? :D Well anyway, Jadeite, Nephrite, Kunzite, Zoisite, and Chibi-Usa visit California to go to Disneyland! But it's not a regular vacation, no, they're supposed to gather energy for Beryl. And as usual, crazy stuff will happen. Enjoy!


_Author's note: I just realized how long it's been since I've written any KunZoi fanfictions, and I am very sorry. I've been very busy preparing for college after this school year and I haven't had the time to write. But never fear, I'm going to keep trying! :D I actually went to Disneyland earlier this summer for school business club nationals and that's how I got the idea for this. It takes place before the first season actually starts. Enjoy!_

"Shitennou, report!"

"Oh, great." Jadeite groaned.

"Can I at least finish my booze?" Nephrite moaned.

Kunzite and Zoisite groaned and moaned.

"Oh, Kunzite-sama! Watch my ponytail, please!"

"Why would I watch that when I could watch your pretty face as I pleasure you?"

"KUNZITE, ZOISITE, report NOW!"

"Oh snap!" Kunzite shoved Zoisite off of him and hastily put on his uniform.

"This is really not the time!" Zoisite grumbled and picked himself up off the floor. He also quickly put on his uniform and teleported away with Kunzite.

Jadeite and Nephrite were already waiting in Beryl's throne room. Jadeite stared at the ceiling while Nephrite looked at the lovers and snickered.

"Very kind of you two to finally join us." Beryl snapped.

"Our apologies, my queen." Kunzite and Zoisite chorused.

"I've come up with a new plan to get energy. It's a good plan, I know it. You see, on Earth, there is this place called Disneyland. And I'm sending you four to Disneyland."

"Pardon!?" Kunzite said. "But that is a place for young humans! What will the civilians think when they see four guys wandering around?"

"You four won't be wandering together, oh no. Much too suspicious. Kunzite and Zoisite, since you're always having passionate moments together-"

"And you knew that how!?" Zoisite interjected.

"You two will be gay honey-mooners. Same with Jadeite and Nephrite."

Now it was Kunzite and Zoisite's turn to get the giggles.

Jadeite looked uncomfortable. "But I'm not in love with Nephrite!"

"According to some fanfictions you are. Oh, and for your defiance, you and Nephrite won't just be married. You will have adopted a child."

Nephrite gasped. "No, not a kid! What if it steals my booze?"

Beryl looked disgusted. "Keep that away." She reached behind her throne and pulled out a little girl with pink hair in pigtails. "Here's your new daughter."

"Chibi-usa!?" the Shitennou chorused.

"What's she doing here?" Kunzite asked.

"Yeah, this is totally the past, and it's not the second season yet." Zoisite added.

"I don't even think the first season has started." Nephrite said.

"Nope, we're all alive." Jadeite frowned. "For the time being."

"Stop the chit-chat and pack your bags. It's time for you four to get started!"

Zoisite and Kunzite stood in the hotel lobby with their suitcases. Travelers rushed all around, checking in, finding bags, or waiting in line for the elevator.

"Kunzite-sama, I'm hungry." Zoisite tugged on his lover's cape.

"Shh, Zoisite. We've got to check in first. Then we can go to the restaurant's hotel."

Zoisite yawned. "This line is kind of long though."

"But at least it's moving quickly."

"I wonder what Jadeite and Nephrite are up to?"

"They're checking in across the street."

"Oh."

"I wanna see Mickey Mouse! I wanna ride the roller coasters! I wanna eat some cotton candy!" Chibi-usa whined, crawling around on Jadeite.

"Not yet! We're waiting in line." Jadeite scolded.

"Damn, I wish I had some alcohol." Nephrite said gruffly.

"Not in front of the kid!"

Nephrite reached the front desk. "I need a room for three-uh, two and a half."

"Two adults and one child." The clerk took Nephrite's credit card and handed the two men a couple keys. "Enjoy your stay at the Anaheim, California Hilton."

"I'll try." Nephrite snapped. "Hurry up, Jadeite."

"Kunzite-sama, look!" Zoisite said, gesturing to the closet in the hotel room. "They left us bathrobes!"

"Mm-hmm." Kunzite said, not really paying attention. He was sorting out all the paperwork from the hotel and the Disneyland tickets.

"No, look!" Zoisite pulled a bathrobe off the hanger and tried it on. Zoisite frowned. The tag said one-size-fits-all, but it was closer to one-size-fits-all-but-Zoisite. In other words, the bathrobe devoured Zoisite whole.

"Okay, I think we're going to have to change into less conspicious outfits." Kunzite said. "I think we attracted some stares down in the lobby."

"Probably because you're absolutely goregous, Kunzite-sama." Zoisite said. He turned to walk to Kunzite to give his lover a kiss but tripped.

Kunzite helped Zoisite up. "Here." he said, using his magic to change them into more California-type clothes. "Now, let's head down to the restaurant to get you some food. I bet you're still hungry."

"Chibi-usa, you're going to have to stop bouncing on the beds." Jadeite said firmly. "If you don't come down, then there will be no Disneyland."

"You'll have to take me to Disneyland no matter what." Chibi-usa giggled. "Beryl said so."

"Beryl said our job is to gather energy at Disneyland. You're just along as punishment. I'm not afraid to leave you by yourself in the room."

"Then I'll damage stuff!"

"We'll pay for it. We can easily conjure money."

"Then I'll tell Beryl!"

Jadeite gasped.

"Smart kid." Nephrite remarked.

"Kunzite-sama, you look very nice." Zoisite said, staring into Kunzite's eyes.

"Thank you, Zoisaito. Be careful with that wine though."

"Pffffft." Zoisite frowned and set down his glass of wine. "It's a special occasion, shouldn't I be allowed a little wine?"

"You've had a little! The food hasn't even come yet."

Zoisite twirled a strand of hair around his finger. "Whatever."

Jadeite quietly stuffed the empty pizza box in the trash can and turned out the lights. It was his decision to order the pizza. It was hardly fine dining, but they were in a pinch with Chibi-usa. He turned back to the bed and raised an eyebrow. The hotel really did believe they were gay honeymooners. Chibi-usa was sound asleep on a little cot by the window.

"I guess I have to sleep next to Nephrite." Jadeite thought. He pulled back the covers and paused before climbing in. "Nephrite looks...rather lovely." The moonlight caught the waves of Nephrite's hair, making it look shiny. "No, I can't think about Nephrite that way! I'm not gay, except for in some fanfictions!" Jadeite stared at Nephrite's muscled back. "Well, it looks like this is one of those fanfictions. Oh, Nephrite, how I wish you were into men!" he thought before falling asleep.


End file.
